Well, it's out of my hands.

Who else has a love-hate relationship with these words? Whether you are querying or on submission or in another part of publishing purgatory AKA literal hell, we all have to deal with it.

It's out of my hands. I'm just playing the waiting game.

This part of the publishing process makes me want to sigh with relief (because the tough part of my job is over) and scream at the same time (because obvious reasons). So how do we handle it? How do we go on when the fate of our work (our precious collection of hopes and dreams) is at the mercy of others' decisions? How do we play the waiting game and not die (metaphorically) in the process?

In this month's post, I'll tell you how I do it, but bear in mind I don't have the perfect answer. I don't even think one exists.

For context, here's where I'm at:

I am on week two of being on submission to editors. This is my second book we've put on sub after having to shelve my first book in 2023, and I am terrified. If you're unfamiliar with my 'how I got my agent' story, feel free read that post after this one! Long story short, it took 5 books, over 100 rejections, and almost 10 years... So I'm intimately familiar with the waiting game. I'm basically a certified professional in getting rejected. While I understand the waiting and rejections are all part of the publishing process, let's be honest. It fucking sucks.

All that said, I am confident in my work. I spent years drafting, revising, collaborating, and perfecting the book that now lies in the hands (and at the mercy) of all the editors my agent meticulously chose, and I know we did everything we could. I did everything I could.

Now it's up to them. It's out of my hands, and I can't sleep at night.

SO - let's get to the good stuff.

First, I am leaning in to the manifestation behaviors. The only way to combat imposter syndrome, in my experience, is to find extra ways to build yourself up. This round of submission has me questioning my every decision as a writer, so to counteract that, I'm intentionally finding little ways to make my confidence a physical, tangible thing.

For example, on the official day my agent sent the pitch letter to editors (2/27), I went to the liquor store and bought an expensive bottle of wine. I plan (not just hope) to open it when I see the offer email in my inbox. It's a reminder that one day, hopefully soon, I'll have a *special* reason to celebrate. Not only was this a fun way to celebrate the milestone of sending another book on submission, but it was like holding a literal beacon of hope in my hands. I encourage anyone sending queries to agents or submissions to editors to do something like this - remind yourself that you're worth it. And that the good news will come soon.

I have also started giving a voice to my hopes - literally. Instead of keeping quiet, afraid of jinxing the situation, I light candles. I reread my work and feel proud of it - I tell people I am proud of it. I say (yes, out loud) the things I want to happen - I will sell a book this year. I will find the right editor for this story. My work will find the right audience. I've waited years, and I've worked hard. It will happen for me. I allow my hopes to exist, as should all of you, no matter what stage of the process you're in.

What else can make the misery of submission/querying easier? Finding a new project to dive into. This is a really common piece of advice for anyone who is waiting on news - work on a new story! And it works. Currently, I am drafting the second act of a brand new YA Fantasy Wuthering Heights retelling, and it is fueling my life. The excitement of a new idea, especially one so close to my heart, keeps the passion of storytelling at the forefront of my mind. It is the ultimate joyful distraction.

Finally, I rely on my network of writer friends. I mentioned this a bit in my 'how I got my agent' post, but I want to emphasize here that writing cannot be an isolated pursuit. Apart from the obvious technical and craft-related benefits of having CPs, beta readers, and writing groups, the emotional support is unparalleled.

The deeper I have gotten into my career as an author, the more I have realized the true value of my network of fellow authors. Not only do they share the same passion and dreams as me, they understand my experience (in all its highs and lows) wholly and completely. They know the sting of rejection. They know the frustration of publishing's slow pace. They know the despair that comes with industry turmoil. They can see every moment of my journey and not only relate to it, but empathize with it.

I can say with total honesty that they are a critical element of my survival as an author. So, if you don't have your 'group' yet, I encourage you to find one. Use Twitter or Insta or TikTok - anything. Join a local chapter of a larger author's organization. Find upcoming writing workshops and attend one. Do whatever you need to do to find your people, and then stick with them through it all. Complain, celebrate, cry, laugh, and share the weight of your journey. It'll be unbearable otherwise.

Until then, I hope this post has given you a little comfort. I also want to share this incredible resource for anyone just wanting to feel seen: Sub Stories. This resource is a massive collection of anonymous author stories detailing the pain, the glory, the heartache, and the joy of having books on submission. Thanks to my dear friend Bethany Baptiste for sending me this link when I needed it most (everyone go order her debut The Poisons We Drink as soon as you can).

Well, authors, have a happy March. And if not happy, then hopeful that it'll get better. If you're on sub like me or grinding through the query trenches, feel free to reach out. Comment on this post or tag me on Twitter - I firmly believe that we, as creators, are all in this together. The waiting game is tough, but when you have a good team, it's sort of impossible to lose.

Sending my love.

Dane